Yeah this is SO not about the Christmas song. This is about the city sidewalks I have been walking.
Today we got to the hospital (where they told us to go for my bloodwork) and they did not have me in their system...yay! What a way to start the day...we left the house at 6:30 so we could get to the lab at 7 when they opened. at 7:40 after going back and forth to the lab and the admissions desk the admissions man said I could not have my bloodwork done there. I would have to go to another lab because of my insurance. He says the good news is that the lab is nearby just a couple of blocks away...yeah his idea of a couple of blocks and mine are WAY different. You all would be totally impressed with the amount of walking I have been doing. Dr. T told John that I needed some exercise...well the doc can rest assured that I am getting the exercise.
So this morning it was rainy and windy. We decided since it was so "close" we would just go ahead and walk since we had parking already. FIVE, yes FIVE blocks later we were where we were supposed to be. I got my blood drawn around 8:30 and made it back to the car around 9:45...just saying I walk slow...it's all I got right now. I have learned that traffic in Philly does not yield to pink caned ladies, you have to watch what you are doing when you carry an umbrella, the sidewalk is terribly uneven and it is hard to do all of that while watching where you walk. Thankfully John is pretty patient when I walk and makes sure to look out for all that stuff. He also carries my purse for me so that no one steals it...he is good that way! Always looking out for me, much as he did when we kids.
So after walking five blocks to get to the lab we had to walk six back to the car...you do the math...I walk ELEVEN blocks today. Yeah, I needed a long nap to recover.
I got my bloodwork done but the insurance company is giving us an issue about pre certifying my procedures...pray that when I call in the morning they will tell me what I want to hear and that I can indeed have my procedures. I am tired and frustrated with all of that. I just want to get all of this stuff done. I want to be home with my family...Olivia cries EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I talk to her and I do not know how much more of that I can take...
So say a prayer or two for me...specifically about the insurance stuff.
Love, Jenn
PS I walked about 200 yards yesterday outside without my cane...aren't you impressed??? I was! LOL! I have not done that in a very long time and I was a little shaky but before long I will be walking way further than that! :)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
This is Spinal Tap...
Haha! I have always wanted to say that.
Anyway. The doctor's office just called. They have me scheduled for labs tomorrow morning at 7am and my spinal tap at noon on Thursday.
Did I ever tell you how much I HATE needles??? Seriously like HATE them. An insulin dependant dabetic who gives herself a shot every single night HATES needles. Like with a passion.
So what does all this mean? This all means that I will be here at least through the weekend. I am still waiting on the MRI to be scheduled and cannot go back for my big lab work until Monday. We will have to see Dr. T after all of that so we are shooting for having me home for Christmas.
I have not done one thing for Christmas so that should be fun. NOT! Seriously, not one gift bought not one thing done. Maybe we will cancel Christmas until after the first of the year.
I hate to keep asking you to pray but that is what I need right now. More than you could know.
Love, Jenn
Anyway. The doctor's office just called. They have me scheduled for labs tomorrow morning at 7am and my spinal tap at noon on Thursday.
Did I ever tell you how much I HATE needles??? Seriously like HATE them. An insulin dependant dabetic who gives herself a shot every single night HATES needles. Like with a passion.
So what does all this mean? This all means that I will be here at least through the weekend. I am still waiting on the MRI to be scheduled and cannot go back for my big lab work until Monday. We will have to see Dr. T after all of that so we are shooting for having me home for Christmas.
I have not done one thing for Christmas so that should be fun. NOT! Seriously, not one gift bought not one thing done. Maybe we will cancel Christmas until after the first of the year.
I hate to keep asking you to pray but that is what I need right now. More than you could know.
Love, Jenn
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Really honest
This sucks. There it's out there. While I am enjoying the relaxing and all that John and Alycia have done for me I am really having a rough time of it today.
Chris has hooked me up with a friend of hers and her and her husband have a Christian fellowship not far from where I am. They have invited me to come and worship with them. I really wanted to go, but when John woke me up this morning I decided I was not ready to go somewhere where I do not know any one and put on my happy face. I just could NOT do it this morning. I really wanted to.
The girls called me this morning before church. I missed getting up this morning and being at church. I usually get there about 7:15 and do soundcheck which is always a lot of fun...I miss hanging out with the guys in the booth making jokes and making sure that everything goes smoothly for the services. I miss being in my office in between and I am really missing singing with the choir this morning. It is 10:08 and I know that you all have sung already and what you sang and how great it sounded. I am missing...
Olivia was crying before I got off the phone, I was crying before I got off the phone. I am a wreck...this is really hard. I know that God has promised to not leave me nor forsake me. I KNOW that with all my heart...but this is SO hard and I am trying really hard. Today is just not the day for my fake it til you make it smile...this is really honest.
Love, Jenn
Chris has hooked me up with a friend of hers and her and her husband have a Christian fellowship not far from where I am. They have invited me to come and worship with them. I really wanted to go, but when John woke me up this morning I decided I was not ready to go somewhere where I do not know any one and put on my happy face. I just could NOT do it this morning. I really wanted to.
The girls called me this morning before church. I missed getting up this morning and being at church. I usually get there about 7:15 and do soundcheck which is always a lot of fun...I miss hanging out with the guys in the booth making jokes and making sure that everything goes smoothly for the services. I miss being in my office in between and I am really missing singing with the choir this morning. It is 10:08 and I know that you all have sung already and what you sang and how great it sounded. I am missing...
Olivia was crying before I got off the phone, I was crying before I got off the phone. I am a wreck...this is really hard. I know that God has promised to not leave me nor forsake me. I KNOW that with all my heart...but this is SO hard and I am trying really hard. Today is just not the day for my fake it til you make it smile...this is really honest.
Love, Jenn
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Fuzzy pants, warm blankets, college football and SNOW!
Well, this could well be the best day ever except for the fact that I am in a funk. I am not sure why but I am. I am missing my family, I am missing The Journey and I am just missing.
John says I am doing good...with the whole being thing although it is such a challenge for me. I feel like I am in the way, or taking up too much time. You know the old saying about fish and guests...well, I have been here 6 days already! John and Alycia have been so gracious and Jack is really starting to warm up to me. He was wrestling with me this morning and even though it really hurt me it was really fun. He has really been a lot of fun.
So today I did not get out of my jammies, have not fixed my hair, I did brush my teeth...that would just be gross if I did not! I have planted myself on the couch with my fuzzy pink blanket (Thanks Becca!) and watched all kinds of college football (GO TECH!) and had a fabulous three bean chili that John cooked for dinner, three bean chili, fresh collards with italian dressing and it was delish! I am trying hard to do this macro thing and so far so good. I had a delish salmon the other night and I am eating lots of brown rice I actually like it and it is good for me so that is the important thing. I am trying to help where and when I can. I just finished cleaning up the kitchen even though John told me not too...He went to take a nap so I did it anyway. I am really not cut out to be a lazy or still person I am convinced.
I keep hearing how great the kids are doing at Journey. I am so so sad that I am not there to walk through and see the city. I know that everyone has worked so hard to pull it all off and it is the kick off to the Christmas season for me. I am feeling really removed from the whole Christmas season at the moment. I am feeling pretty removed and lonely at the moment. I am not sure what I will do tomorrow morning when I have no FBCL to go to. I miss my choir and I miss my church family. Just keep praying for me.
Love, Jenn
John says I am doing good...with the whole being thing although it is such a challenge for me. I feel like I am in the way, or taking up too much time. You know the old saying about fish and guests...well, I have been here 6 days already! John and Alycia have been so gracious and Jack is really starting to warm up to me. He was wrestling with me this morning and even though it really hurt me it was really fun. He has really been a lot of fun.
So today I did not get out of my jammies, have not fixed my hair, I did brush my teeth...that would just be gross if I did not! I have planted myself on the couch with my fuzzy pink blanket (Thanks Becca!) and watched all kinds of college football (GO TECH!) and had a fabulous three bean chili that John cooked for dinner, three bean chili, fresh collards with italian dressing and it was delish! I am trying hard to do this macro thing and so far so good. I had a delish salmon the other night and I am eating lots of brown rice I actually like it and it is good for me so that is the important thing. I am trying to help where and when I can. I just finished cleaning up the kitchen even though John told me not too...He went to take a nap so I did it anyway. I am really not cut out to be a lazy or still person I am convinced.
I keep hearing how great the kids are doing at Journey. I am so so sad that I am not there to walk through and see the city. I know that everyone has worked so hard to pull it all off and it is the kick off to the Christmas season for me. I am feeling really removed from the whole Christmas season at the moment. I am feeling pretty removed and lonely at the moment. I am not sure what I will do tomorrow morning when I have no FBCL to go to. I miss my choir and I miss my church family. Just keep praying for me.
Love, Jenn
Friday, December 4, 2009
Nothing to see here...
Hey there! There is no news to report today. Yet I feel the need to blog about it.
We have not heard from the doctors office so we wait. Do you know how bad I am at waiting??? Yeah I so suck at that! You just have no idea.
Last night I sat out by the fire for HOURS. Seriously, hours. I have not sat anywhere for any length of time in about 10 years. I mean seriously, I had to really reach back to figure out when that happened last. I sat and did NOTHING for hours. I was not worrying about who needed what. I was just sitting. just being. How amazing is that? You all should be impressed.
So yeah not a whole lot to report on, but wanted to let you all know I am missing you all terribly, especially the Journey...it just seems NOT RIGHT that I am here and you all are there. I thank you all once again for the prayers, meals for my family and cards. I appreciate you all so very much and love you even more!
Love, Jenn
We have not heard from the doctors office so we wait. Do you know how bad I am at waiting??? Yeah I so suck at that! You just have no idea.
Last night I sat out by the fire for HOURS. Seriously, hours. I have not sat anywhere for any length of time in about 10 years. I mean seriously, I had to really reach back to figure out when that happened last. I sat and did NOTHING for hours. I was not worrying about who needed what. I was just sitting. just being. How amazing is that? You all should be impressed.
So yeah not a whole lot to report on, but wanted to let you all know I am missing you all terribly, especially the Journey...it just seems NOT RIGHT that I am here and you all are there. I thank you all once again for the prayers, meals for my family and cards. I appreciate you all so very much and love you even more!
Love, Jenn
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
In the midst...
of all of this stuff that is going on I am having a blast with Jack! He is so cute, and so smart! Here is Jack and I after his AWESOME pot and pan drum show! Jack ROCKS!
I would love to have about a third of his energy! He is so much fun to hang out with and he has such a great imagination. I am just really having fun with this boy! I miss my kids, but Jack has been reminding me what it is like to have a little kid around again. I have been watching lots of shows that my kids watched like Little Bear and some new shows I have never heard of like Yo Gabba Gabba...who knew? He has made me realize that kids are a lot of fun to hang out with! So thanks Jack!
Love, Jenn
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Well...not the news I really wanted to hear, but...
So the nerve conduction test was awful...as it always is. I have to say John did a great job of distracting me and hand holding during the needle part...I did not get a sticker so THAT was disappointing. We have some good news and some not so good news.
The not so good is that they do not know what is going on with me and I am going to have to go for some more testing. He discovered today that the nerve on the outside of my leg is not working which is a huge problem and that the nerve on the inside of my arm from my elbow to my wrist is also an issue, but we knew that going in. It has been having issues all along.
He is not convinced I have CIDP but he does not know what the problem is hence more testing. I will have to have an MRI on my leg and then I will also have to have a spinal tap...that just flat out sucks. I did not expect that and I am not excited about it AT ALL. I will also have to wait ten days and do some MAJOR bloodwork. He can't do it now because the nerve conduction will skew the results. So I am here for at least ten more days and Ron says that is plenty of time to get back in time for our Rejoice! LOL!
The sheet for the bloodwork has FIFTEEN things marked off on it and one of them takes a month to get the results back because it has to go to Boston. It is called a SMP-Sensory Motor Panel. So we are waiting to hear from Tessa at Dr. T's office to set up the MRI and Spinal Tap and then we will have to wait on the bloodwork stuff. So we are looking at at least tem more days of me being gone. We will go from there after the bloodwork.
I am trying to process through all of this but I feel like I am back at square one with all the testing and not knowing. I think he is looking for something pretty serious, or at least that is what I am thinking after listening to him today. He said I am mystery. He is just not sure and wants to figure it out. I am thankful for that.
So I guess the good news is that Dr. T is willing to try to figure me out and in the meantime I get to hang out with some fun folks. Jack and Alycia have not been feeling good so that has been the reason I have not taken any pictures. When Jack is feeling better I will get the camera out and go to town!
I appreciate you all so much. For the love, support & prayers. They mean so very much to me. Keep them up!
Love, Jenn
The not so good is that they do not know what is going on with me and I am going to have to go for some more testing. He discovered today that the nerve on the outside of my leg is not working which is a huge problem and that the nerve on the inside of my arm from my elbow to my wrist is also an issue, but we knew that going in. It has been having issues all along.
He is not convinced I have CIDP but he does not know what the problem is hence more testing. I will have to have an MRI on my leg and then I will also have to have a spinal tap...that just flat out sucks. I did not expect that and I am not excited about it AT ALL. I will also have to wait ten days and do some MAJOR bloodwork. He can't do it now because the nerve conduction will skew the results. So I am here for at least ten more days and Ron says that is plenty of time to get back in time for our Rejoice! LOL!
The sheet for the bloodwork has FIFTEEN things marked off on it and one of them takes a month to get the results back because it has to go to Boston. It is called a SMP-Sensory Motor Panel. So we are waiting to hear from Tessa at Dr. T's office to set up the MRI and Spinal Tap and then we will have to wait on the bloodwork stuff. So we are looking at at least tem more days of me being gone. We will go from there after the bloodwork.
I am trying to process through all of this but I feel like I am back at square one with all the testing and not knowing. I think he is looking for something pretty serious, or at least that is what I am thinking after listening to him today. He said I am mystery. He is just not sure and wants to figure it out. I am thankful for that.
So I guess the good news is that Dr. T is willing to try to figure me out and in the meantime I get to hang out with some fun folks. Jack and Alycia have not been feeling good so that has been the reason I have not taken any pictures. When Jack is feeling better I will get the camera out and go to town!
I appreciate you all so much. For the love, support & prayers. They mean so very much to me. Keep them up!
Love, Jenn
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