This sucks. There it's out there. While I am enjoying the relaxing and all that John and Alycia have done for me I am really having a rough time of it today.
Chris has hooked me up with a friend of hers and her and her husband have a Christian fellowship not far from where I am. They have invited me to come and worship with them. I really wanted to go, but when John woke me up this morning I decided I was not ready to go somewhere where I do not know any one and put on my happy face. I just could NOT do it this morning. I really wanted to.
The girls called me this morning before church. I missed getting up this morning and being at church. I usually get there about 7:15 and do soundcheck which is always a lot of fun...I miss hanging out with the guys in the booth making jokes and making sure that everything goes smoothly for the services. I miss being in my office in between and I am really missing singing with the choir this morning. It is 10:08 and I know that you all have sung already and what you sang and how great it sounded. I am missing...
Olivia was crying before I got off the phone, I was crying before I got off the phone. I am a wreck...this is really hard. I know that God has promised to not leave me nor forsake me. I KNOW that with all my heart...but this is SO hard and I am trying really hard. Today is just not the day for my fake it til you make it smile...this is really honest.
Love, Jenn
Oh Jenn, I understand this completely! I can't stand change!! We moved last year and I still haven't found a place that is "HOME". So my challenge to ME and to you my friend is to let HIM be the light, let HIM put on our happy face for us, let go of our control and allow HIM to mold and make us into vessels HE can use in these nice but different surroundings we find ourselves in.
ReplyDeleteLet's give HIM another opportunity to shine and use us for HIS glory! Will you do it with me? I'm praying for you! : )
Collyn
I wish I was there to hug your neck and scrapbook to pass the time!
ReplyDeleteLN
Jiggy, I'm sorry for the sadness you feel with missing your family, church and choir. I was reading on your blog last night, and I called Andrew in to listen to the songs on your cute little I-tune player,(I think that's what it's called), anyway, the songs you picked were so beautiful, and we just sat and listened to them and prayed for you! The amazing thing is, that at the same time the music was ministering to us. God is incredible! We were so moved by the music, and the lyrics from the David Phelps song, and His eye is on the sparrow. I wanted to thank you for posting that music, and let you know that even though you are far away, God used you in our lives last night. We love you, and we will continue to pray for you and your family throughout this week. Kristen
ReplyDeletePraying harder, Jenn. I am so sorry you are not with your family. God has good things planned for you - hang in there. Thank God we have phones and internet and thank God you are working your way to wellness. Do you have a camera for your computer? Skype? It helps sooo much.
ReplyDeleteHI Jiggy....sorry it's been a while since we've talked. I've had "issues"!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having to go thru so much, but I know that in the long run it will be for the best. I also can imagine how much you miss your family, but you guys will be so much closer when you get back home. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!"
I am still praying for you and for the dr's and your family. I know it may be disappointing to find out that your dx was wrong, but it's best to find the correct one, so that you can get better.....which I hope is really really soon.
Love you girl,
Teresa